Kayla's Desultory Art

This is the first of the collection and is so because it truly was the start of my healing journey. You see, I never wanted children. I am the eldest of four to a single mother, each of us with a different father. My father never wanted me and he never made a secret of that fact. That coupled with years of abuse and trafficking at the hands of my mother’s boyfriend made sure that I would never bring a child into this world to suffer in a way like I had. That all changed though the day that the love of my life proposed to me. A man, who despite my broken soul, could see the beauty within and never wanted to give up on me. It was at that moment that the womb began to heal, I decided that I wanted nothing more than to have a family with the man who had knelt before me.

What does healing look like? To heal from trauma is not easy, pretty or clean. Nor is it quick, in fact, I don’t believe there is a finish line on a healing journey. However, the journey becomes easier. As you open each battered door and allow yourself to truly experience what lies beyond them, you gain tools to help you further the journey. What does it look like to heal though? For me, healing allows color and emotion back into the world as the shell of a human being cracks and the soul is released. I had the pleasure recently of doing an inner child meditation, led by Michaela Jean. During this mediation, little Kayla showed me the things that once brought me joy, reminded me that it’s okay to let that joy back in. From that day, flowers have seemed more vibrant and I have grown ever closer to them again. Every bit of that mediation inspired this collection and I hope that by sharing it, I can inspire others to start their healing journey.

11x14 Oil on wood panel

***Artwork arrives unframed. Framed shots are just for mockup purposes.